Our Media Specialist Lesa Ferguson found this question on Facebook : “Birth mothers who created adoption plans – How did you know the Adoptive Parents you selected were the right parents for your baby?”
By Lesa Quale Ferguson
After reading the responses, I came away thinking that the Birth Mothers who trusted their intuition, faith or gut feeling felt more at peace with their decision. As a once Prospective Adoptive Parent, who obsessively worried over my profile – which picture, what sentiment might or might not appeal to an expectant mother – I gained new understanding reading these responses: It probably isn’t any one particular thing about a Prospective Adoptive Parent – if you have a dog or a big house or your age – that makes a Birth Mother choose one parent over another for her child. As in any love match, it’s all about that mysterious connection one person feels for another.
- Kari – You just have an overwhelming feeling of comfort and joy. I just knew right away!
- Ashley – I knew when I first talked on the phone with them. Something just felt right. Plus we had same name ideas and I felt a connection when I met them in leraon for first time
- Janice – I was only 16… what could I possibly know… I, of course, thought I knew everything at that age… my ob/gyn had a couple that was having trouble conceiving… they had tried everything and it wasn’t working… so when I told him that I decided to go adoption but didn’t know where to turn, he suggested I meet this couple. it seemed like a good choice at the time. They did a better job than I would have done I think. It didn’t turn out perfect but God has His big ol’ hand in it the whole time! Through the grace of God, my daughter calls me Mom now.
- Kikiana -I made sure I met and talked with them and after I wanted to see how they acted with my son and how my son acted with them
- Ericha – The agency I went through let me fill out I guess u could call ot an application, well after I chose what I wanted I was handed hundreds of profiles. I read thru all of em and narrowed it down to 3 had many conversation with each family and I just knew they were it.
- Denise – It just felt right in my heart. I had no doubt in my mind.
- Darlene – I felt like I was doing the Wright thing at that time for her I believe if I keep her she would have been hurt or killed by her dad I had know choice I was living on the streets to
- Abby – I felt it in my heart. I also prayed about it. I had been uneasy about other profiles then knew when it was right!
- Lynette – prayer
- Debra – When you meet the right family I think you know! I saw the adoptive parents profile and when I met them, something just seemed right about chosing them to parent my daughter
- Elizabeth – My adoptive parents wrote me a letter and at the end of it, I was signed with the bible verse Jeremiah 29:11. I had gotten that bible verse tattooed on me 5 years previous to become pregnant. It was divine intervention!
- Jessica – I knew by the peace in my heart when I looked at their pics and profile I wasn’t scared.
I later found out the couple we chose was the exact couple our friends from church told us was looking to adopt. So as the friends came here from up north about 200 miles away our friends moved from south to the same exact church and when I used the agency to pick out parents those exact parents were in the stack of profiles and I immediately chose them!
When we met for the first time the adoptive mom told me she had sister bogart over for dinner and well it was so unusual and god driven that even though I’m the birth mom And part of the story I’m still in stunned disbelief. The parents Becca and Steve will meet their baby girl in less than 7 weeks. So happy for them both and blessed to carry this sweet angel. - Jackie – Social services choose my adoptive parents as she wasnt fit to
- Dina – The adoption agency I dealt with had prospective ap’s set up photo albums to show about them, their lives & their wishes. I immediately felt bonded with the very first one I looked at. I was looking for certain qualities & they went over and above on every one. We met in person & immediately hit it off. Although our level of “openness” might not work for everyone, it sure does for us! Nearly 17 years in, they are truly the amazing patents I knew they would be
- Leanne – I choose the parents for my birth-daughter based on my gut instinct. It just felt right. Their love of music and openness were also factors. As soon as I read their “dear birth mom” letter I knew they would be the ones.
- Christina – I knew Tammy and her wonderful husband Danny were the right parents because it seemed like we knew each other for years. Also, they were just like me and my husband and wanted the same things for Tanner as we did!! Love you Tammy and Danny!!
- Kati – I read over 3 profiles & felt at peace with one profile. I gave the profiles to my sister & Mom & we were all done reading them we said who we all felt good about. We had all had that feeling about the same couple. I just knew they were my baby boys parents.I have since met that baby. (He’s almost 20 now) and his parents. I was right. They were suppose to be his parents. They love him so much. I couldn’t be happier with how it all turned out. And they have been so amazing to embrace me & let me get to know him too. Adoption is a beautiful beautiful thing.
- Tina – I looked through a few books and saw them and just knew they were the ones. I wanted to nurse the baby if I could, they even got me a pump and picked up the milk every week, she even attempted to go on meds to hopefully be able to nurse him herself, made me feel like they were even more perfect.
- Kelsey – i didnt know 100% i just trusted my instinct.
- Heidi – I felt their genuine love and saw honesty in their eyes. They are my best friends and we a very special connection.The other indication that they were the right parents is there was NO resistance to me pumping milk for the first 6 weeks. That put me from 95% sure to 110%.
- Erin – l just had a feeling..coudnt look at any other profiles. just really felt like they were the one for my babys (twins)
- Amy Marie – I knew when I had our first phone conference between my caseworker, the Reed family, and myself at 8 months pregnant. They automatically made me comfortable and Lily, my baby girl, stopped squirming and stayed still throughout the conversation. They even decided to keep the name I’d given her early in the pregnancy. I am so blessed to have found the Reeds. We now keep in touch and feel as though we are one family, connected by a beautiful blessing!
Read More on Social Media: Adoption and Social Media, Evan B Donaldson Institute Cites Adoption STAR in Newest Report on Adoption and the Internet, Preview Adoption STAR’s E-Book on Social Media and Child Adoption, From Our Social Media: Profiling Opportunities , Should Children Under 13 be Allowed on Facebook