Choose Your Words Wisely

Author Madeleine Melcher utilizes her own experiences and expertise to offer a sense of perspective for all members of the adoption triad.n-ADOPTION-large570

“I am but one person with my own experience. Adoptees are human beings so of course our feelings and experiences vary from black to white to every shade of gray. I cannot and do not speak for everyone but will always stand up for everyone to have a chance to speak.”

That’s how Madeleine Melcher begins her recent blog post for the Huffington Post (dated 4/2/15) entitled “Complaints About Your Child’s Adoption Have to Stop.” Different readers will undoubtedly have different takes on the validity (or perceived invalidity) of Melcher’s piece. Perhaps this is one of the potentially many reasons why Adoption STAR CEO/Founder Michele Fried recently shared this article with agency staff via e-mail, and characterized it as “a must read.”

After giving it a read, many Adoption STAR staff chimed in with their own observations about what they gleaned from the piece, including the following comments:

  • I LOVED this article! So much wisdom not just regarding adoption, but an overall outlook on life.
  • I love the line “Remember, adoption is often predicated by pain, but it IS NOT the pain itself.” Very, very powerful article.
  • This is a great article! I think her advice applies to parenting in general. “Your child is watching you and will follow your lead. Not only will you define your child, but also yourself in his or her eyes. What do you want your words and actions to say to your child?” There have been plenty of times that my mom “slipped up” or misspoke in front of me and had to back track to explain things. Parents carry a large responsibility in being role models for their children.
  • I love how positive this article is, and the message the author leaves with her readers. It is very true that the continued rise of social media seems to equate to an increased opportunity for folks to complain and vent on-line. How wonderful it would be if we used the platform to express gratitude, a desire for well-being for all, and an opportunity to share thought provoking (as opposed to inflammatory) words.
  • Give the article a read: Complaints About Your Child’s Adoption Have to Stop

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