DON’T SELL YOURSELF SHORT: A MARKETER’S INSIGHT TO CREATE A POWERFUL PROFILE (part 4 of 4)
This is the fourth and final part of a four-part blog series on marketing yourself with your adoption profile book. It was written by John Yonkoski who is an adoptive father and marketing professional.
Know your Audience:
It seems a lot of people I speak with about our adoption assume our birth mom is a 16 year old girl whose parents made the decision for her. That’s not the case at all. She’s a 30 year old, Mother of four, taking college classes online while the kids sleep. She probably would have parented if her husband hadn’t filed for divorce.
Like everyone else, I also made some assumptions about the birthparents that would view our adoption profile. I figured it’s probably going to be a female (possibly a couple). I knew they would be Caucasian (at the time, we were specifically seeking a Caucasian newborn). I figured alcohol (people drinking in photos) probably wouldn’t be an issue – but – could be a deal breaker (on the possibility there were abuse issues somewhere in the family). I assumed she wasn’t drinking or doing drugs while she was pregnant (since we were specifically seeking a baby that hadn’t been exposed to these substances). I figured they probably don’t have a ton of money. I assumed they would be less educated than my wife and I, but didn’t assume they would be incapable of comprehending big words. I assumed they would look at a stack of 10 profiles and pick three they liked (strictly based on the cover) and that if it was too wordy, they might set it down. I figured they value family and friends. I figured they value stability – both in terms of our marriage and having a place we call home for the foreseeable future (particularly since we were seeking an open adoption).
So, how did these assumptions affect our adoption profile? We axed any photos where people were drinking. We wanted to show that we were financially secure, yet not superficial and egregious (we spoke a lot about how important relationships, rather than money, were to us). We didn’t want to appear as some condescending authorative figure by “dumbing down” the way we spoke and the words we used. We used lots of photos. Had we been open to other races, I would have included more photos of my diverse group of friends (I would consider that critical). We showcased the time and money we’ve invested in remodeling our home.
You may not agree with the assumptions I made and your assumptions may be different. As it turns out, mine were spot on with our birth mother. From our profile, she really connected with us. It’s no surprise, our profile was written just for her.
If you’re working with an agency, ask questions about the birthparents they work with. Reflect back on the decisions you made when completing your grids. Try to get an understanding of who will be reading your profile and tailor it to their needs. Remember – you’re writing the profile for the birthparents, not for you. Their opinion matters, not yours.
Get meaningful feedback from others. If you ask someone, “how do you like it?” they’ll respond with “it looks good”. Instead, say “tell me three things you would change”. In my case, my Sister in-law (who’s a graphic designer) opined that it was a little (not a lot) busy. Her suggestion was to spread it out a little more and have more pages.
From a graphic design perspective, she’s right. However, although looks are important for a profile – they’re not everything. Had we taken her advice, we would have had to remove some of our content (otherwise it would be too many pages). I appreciated her insight, but didn’t make any major changes to our profile.
My point is, don’t take any feedback as Gospel, but do consider the responses. Revise as appropriate, but don’t submit a profile that hasn’t been meaningfully critiqued.
Provide Bight Size Pieces of Information:
Have you ever gone to a website – and – before you know it, you’ve been there for 20 minutes? It wasn’t your intent, but it happened. Why do some sites have this affect? Because they give you a bit of info – you like it and want more. So, you click and get more. The process repeats. The site literally sucks you in.
Their secret is that they don’t just give you it all on one page. Because, you would see all the material and think “I don’t have time for this” and leave. Don’t make the mistake of overwhelming your reader by sharing your life story on the first page (or any page for that matter).
Similarly, give them the good stuff right up front – what you really, really want them to know. Put the less important stuff towards the end. For example, the details about our families were the last pages of our profile. Why? Because birthparents care less about our families than they do about us. It was clear we had family, that they live nearby, and that we are close with them. However, what they do for a living and their personalities is less relevant and requires words.
Describing our families is going to require space – I want the “premium space” upfront devoted to us. My rationale was that if they made it to the end of the profile, they were interested in us and would be willing to read about them. Equally likely, they might not even see the need to.
In our agency, birthparents are presented “up to ten profiles” at one sitting and they’re not required to give them all equal time. They’re not required to review them completely. Play it safe by assuming they have short attention spans. Don’t blow the chance for them to get to know you.
The arrangement of the pages (and the content) is so important that I would say that if our profile were read from back to front, it would have been terrible and uninteresting (even though everything else is the same). I doubt our birthmother would have read much of it and wouldn’t have taken the time to learn about us.
Again, best stuff up front with the profile becoming increasingly wordy as the reader becomes increasingly interested in what you have to say. Your goal is to suck the reader in.
Don’t be a ”Debbie Downer”
Life isn’t all rosy and perfect for any of us. But, there are some things you just don’t really share with everyone. And, when you do share it – you don’t really want to agonize about it and bring others down. The same goes for your profile – most people know better than to divulge all the details about a marriage that ended with a bitter divorce and ugly custody battle.
In adoption profiles, the most common example I’ve seen is infertility. It seems many profiles hope to get empathy from the birthparents in hopes of being selected. It is fine (recommended even) that you share it, but keep it positive. Talk about what you’ve learned, how you’ve grown, or how it opened your eyes to the beauty of adoption. Don’t agonize over it.
After all, any infertility issues you may have experienced will make much more sense when you meet your little one. Trust me.
Need help with your profile? Contact the author at adoptionprofilehelp@yahoo.com.
Adoption S.T.A.R. does not guarantee the services of third party providers.
To read part one of of marketing yourself through your adoption profile, please click here.
You can read part two of the blog series by clicking here.
Part three of marketing yourself can be read here.
To receive a downloadable PDF with all four parts, please email John Yonkoski
Tags: Adoption STAR, Creating an adoption profile, John Yonkoski, Marketing yourself through your adoption profile
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The Adoption STAR Pen Around The World: Preparing for a Half-Marathon
The Adoption STAR Pen has made it to a new location…can you guess where it is?
The Adoption STAR Pen participated in a half marathon over the weekend in this warm-weather location.
Driving to the race, the Adoption STAR Pen is bumping to some pump up music to get in the right frame of mind.
After the race the Adoption STAR Pen enjoyed a rest with a great view!
Can you guess where the Adoption STAR Pen is?
The Adoption STAR Pen Around The World Project is a fun activity that we will doing throughout 2012. We are looking for Adoption STAR staff members, clients and friends of the agency to take the Adoption STAR pen with them on their travels and take fun pictures of the Adoption STAR pen. You can then email these photos to alex@adoptionstar.com and we will post them on our blog and Facebook. The goal is that by the end of the year, we will have a fun story of where the Adoption STAR pen has been in 2012. If you would like to participate, please send us an email with your mailing address and we will send you pens to get you started.
Tags: Adoption STAR Pen Around The World, Running a half marathon, Travel Photos
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Sue Kolock’s Going Away Party
Today is a bittersweet day at the Adoption STAR offices as we say goodbye to Adoptive Parent Department Supervisor and Family Advocate, Sue Kolock.
On Tuesday we threw Sue a surprise party to say goodbye and share our appreciation for all that she has done for the agency.
Sue’s Goodbye card, complete with messages from all of the Adoption STAR staff members.
Sue’s going away gift…a beautiful snow globe from the agency.
We’ll miss you Sue
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New York State: Adoptees Equal Rights Bill
New York State may be taking another step towards opening adoption records, including original birth certificates, with the Adoptees Equal Rights Bill.
According to an article on lohud.com, if the bill were put into effect, adoptees who are over the age of 18 would be given access to their original birth certificates and the medical history of their birth parents.
The article said that birth parents would have the option to not be contacted, and in these cases adoptees would not be able to obtain their birth certificates, but they would still be given their family’s medical history.
This bill has not been put to a vote in the state assembly as of yet, however the article said that reform groups are beginning to put pressure on the legislators to do just that.
To read the full article, please click here.
Tags: Adoptees Equal Rights Bill, Adoptees medical history, New York State adoptee rights, Open adoption records, Original birth certificates for adoptees
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Using Facebook to Adopt
ABC News recently wrote a feature that focused on families who have used Facebook and YouTube to adopt a child. It used to be, that families doing private adoptions would take out newspaper and magazine ads looking for expecting parents, however today there are over 150 million Facebook users in the United States, and the article said that YouTube has hundreds of millions of users around the world. This all means that when doing a private adoption, it is hard to ignore the massive amount of people that can be reached by Facebook ads and YouTube videos.
One aspect of adopting through social media that the article made clear, is that you should not be doing it without help. Unfortunately, there are many adoption scams online and you need to be careful who you trust. This is why Adoption STAR offers its Agency Assisted Private Track option. When using Private Track, Adoption STAR staff members will train you on the finer-points of social media, including creating a Facebook page, advertising and networking over social media, creating a personal blog, and much, much more. Once you have found an expecting mother, this woman becomes an Adoption STAR client, and receives all of the counseling and benefits that Adoption STAR provides. This will give you the peace of mind that a scam is not taking place.
While you are marketing yourselves, your Adoption STAR Family Advocate will still be providing you with matching opportunities from the agency. If you are successful in finding an expecting parent yourself, your placement fees at Adoption STAR will be cut in half.
To learn more about the Private Track Training, please contact Adoption STAR Family Advocate, Melissa Spatari, by email by email or phone at 1(866)691-3300.
To read the full ABC News article, please click here.
Tags: Adoption STAR, Adoption STAR Agency Assisted Private Track Adoption Option, Facebook, Using Facebook to adopt
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DON’T SELL YOURSELF SHORT: A MARKETER’S INSIGHT TO CREATE A POWERFUL PROFILE (PART 3 of 4)
This is the third part of a four part blog series on marketing yourself with your adoption profile book. It was written by John Yonkoski who is an adoptive father and marketing professional. Part four will be published Wednesday, February 22 . To read part one of the blog series, please click here. To read part two, please click here.
Don’t Have A Cover Like Every Other: (I credit this one to my wife)
It’s true – people judge a book by its cover. Your cover of your adoption profile is your first impression – it needs to be appealing on some level. Otherwise, it’s just one of many…and may go unnoticed. You may never have the opportunity to showcase how wonderful you are. That’s unfortunate.
I would argue that most people don’t even have a photo that is cover worthy. Most people likely need to have one professionally taken. We seriously considered taking our dogs to a photographer to get a good family shot. However, my wife had a crazy idea. We went with it.
The photo on our cover showed us having a blast. We looked fun – crazy fun really (complete with goofy smiles on our faces). It was us, riding an antique two -person bicycle at Grandma’s cottage. I’m probably the only guy that has ever appeared topless on the cover of an adoption profile. I was pretty sure someone would pick it up, even just to see how whacky we are. She did.
That photo, although interesting, wasn’t a great photo for the cover in and of itself. We looked like a couple teenagers goofing around. For birthparents, that’s probably not so good. I’m sure maturity and responsibility rank pretty high on their list.
We balanced it out by adding a nice picture of us from our wedding. We looked happy, responsible and mature. Together, the pics told a story about us no single photo could. Similarly, I would argue that most couples also have a serious side and a fun side. Accordingly, I think two pictures on the cover is probably best – one that’s serious and one that’s fun.
Otherwise, the reader may never see the other side (because they didn’t pick it up). It’s my first impression – I don’t want to come across as too fun, or, too serious. I’m both – and I want you to know it! I think two pictures on the cover is probably the simplest way to be sure your profile will be appealing enough to be viewed.
We also bolstered our cover by including a few of our favorite quotes. From the quotes, you get an idea of what we value. From the two photos, you get an idea of what we’re like. Much like a magazine, the reader had an idea of what was contained within and the cover was visually appealing (colorful, with a nice layout). It was unique and interesting.
With a cover like ours, we were pretty confident someone would take the time to learn about us. That’s huge. A “cover like every other” is a big risk that the profile may go unnoticed and unviewed.
Follow the Basic Rules for Presentations:
Tell them what you’re going to tell them. Tell them. Tell them what you told them. We’ve all heard it before. A presentation or sales pitch that fails to say “we’re going to show you”, then shows you, and concludes with “we just showed you” is very weak. It virtually requires the audience to draw their own conclusions, rather than communicating the message you are looking to convey. Still, very few profiles actually offer a good intro and/or conclusion.
An adoption profile is created to help the birthparents choose a home and family for placement. Your intention is to invite the reader in to your life. A short narration of what they’re going to see (in your profile) is highly influential and proper. In the introduction for our profile, I pulled a stunt I’ve never seen done before – I highly attribute our success to the very first thing the birthparents saw after reading the required “Dear Birthparent” letter.
I consider our intro to be the “secret sauce” for a killer adoption profile. Accordingly, I don’t share it with everyone. In short, I presented a few (6, in particular) bullet points sure to grab the birthparents attention – and – briefly articulating qualities we posses and they would find desirable.
My rationale was that if I positioned their mind to believe that there were a few critical (or highly beneficial) traits (which we portrayed), their mind would be pre-disposed to select us (if the photos validated those claims). And, my conclusion reinforced the benefits a child would receive by having us as parents. It also gave me the opportunity to tell them how we are – even if we failed to portray it in the profile. It’s a winning formula.
Communicate the specific message you want the reader to receive by using a good intro. If the introduction appeals to the reader, they are very likely to continue reading. You want the reader to think, “sounds good, now show me”. End with a good conclusion to let the reader know you validated your claims. It’s a solid way to present a highly influential presentation.
SIDE NOTE: We specifically asked our birth mother why she chose us. She responded with what we strongly believed made us most attractive and unique. It was no coincidence that we mentioned this quality in the very first sentence after the “Dear Birthparent” letter.
Use a Computer to Create Your Profile:
Other things being equal, you do not absolutely need to have a digital profile. Using scrapbook materials, glue, and scissors will do just fine. However, your profile should/must be perfect – it’s not very likely it will be unless it’s done digitally.
Have a pic you forgot to include? Shrink down the text here and there, make the other photos smaller. Insert the pic and you’re done. Save it as a different file name and if your spouse doesn’t like it (happens to me all the time), you still have the old one. A digital profile is much more flexible than doing it on paper. It really helps you make the best of your valuable space and will help it present much better.
There’s one more advantage to digital profiles (I might get beat up over this one). To be clear, I don’t think birthparents are biased against older adoptive parents. However, I do think being out of touch with the times is a disadvantage (many birthparents don’t even remember a time before computers).
Today’s generation digs technology – you don’t want to appear to be stuck in the 80’s. And, please avoid the ClipArt from back then too. Your profile shouldn’t look like it was done years ago.
“Me and my BFF”, WTH?
In many of the profiles I’ve seen, people try too hard to relate to a younger audience. Relating to them is a good thing, right? Absolutely! However, the fact that you’re “trying” is a turn off. You don’t want birthparents rolling their eyes and thinking you’re corny.
What’s more, if you’re not really being yourself – the reader can pick up on it. Create a nice, professional profile – one that portrays you honestly and accurately. Don’t create one that has been crafted to appeal to a sixteen year old girl (more on this later).
Need help with your profile? Contact the author at adoptionprofilehelp@yahoo.com.
Adoption STAR does not guarantee the services of third party providers
Stay tuned next Wednesday, February 22, for part four.
Tags: Adoption STAR, Creating an adoption profile book, John Yonkoski, Marketing yourself with your adoption profile
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What Makes Us Fall In Love
Let’s take a short break from adoption this Valentines Day afternoon, and look at what makes us fall in love. Here’s a hint: it isn’t the heart. According to a Yahoo! News article, recent studies show that the brain plays the largest role in falling in love.
The article said that while it’s true, when you fall in love your heart will race, your stomach will be tied up in knots and you may run the gamut of emotions, all of these intense feelings come from the brain. In fact Arthur Aron, who co-wrote the study, said in the article that “Intense passionate love uses the same system in the brain that gets activated when a person is addicted to drugs.”
According to the study, unlike other mammals, the human brain is wired to choose a mate, and once that mate is chosen our goal is to impress him/her, sometimes going to extreme measures.
“You can feel happy when you’re in love, but you can also feel anxious,” study co-author Lucy Brown said in the article. “The other person becomes a goal in life.”
The article went on to say that once two people are in love, the passionate love may subside a bit, however that is replaced with increased bonding.
“As long as love remains, we get used to the relationship, and we’re not afraid our partner will leave us, so we’re not as focused on the craving,” Aron said.
So the next time someone tells you to follow your heart in matters of love, tell them that they actually want you to follow your brain!
To read the full Yahoo! News article, please click here.
Tags: Love at first sight, The brains role in falling in love, Valentines Day, What makes us fall in love
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30-Day Challenge: Week 4
We took a week off of updating everyone on our 30 Day Challenge, but that doesn’t mean the challenges stopped. We’re only a few days away from completing our goals…. and I can already taste the bubbles of carbonation hitting my lips.
My 30 day challenge was not drinking soda for 30 days. Though I had a close call when I drank a glass of Loganberry, it was decided at the staff meeting that Loganberry is not considered a soda, so my 30-day challenge is still going strong. I was drinking too much soda before this challenge began, and I do not plan on going back to that amount again, but I think limiting myself to no soda for the rest of my life would be a bit extreme. I’d like to find a good balance between no soda at all and 2-3 cans per day.
Adoption STAR Client Relations Manager, Zack Fried, chose to read for 30 minutes every day for his challenge. He has already finished his first book, Switch Kill, and is already onto his second book. He said that reading every day for one month has created a habit, and he is now making a conscious effort to read. Once this 30-day challenge is finished this Friday (2/17) he will begin his next 30-day challenge: journaling.
Right now we have two staff members who chose journaling as part of their 30-day challenge. Adoption STAR Executive Assistant, Lori Craig, has been focusing on listing five things she is thankful for every day. She said that journaling has become a habit that she will continue, but to ensure the journals safety, Lori joked that she will be throwing it in a bonfire this summer “so no one can read it.” Family Advocate, Missy Spatari, also chose journaling as part of her 30-day challenge. While Lori wants to ensure the secrecy of her journal, Missy joked that she may publish her journal when it’s complete. She even has the title picked out: “The Diary of an Adoption Social Worker.”
Adoption STAR Project Lead, Michael Hill, also chose to write for his 30-day-challenge. Instead of journaling, Michael is writing one letter per day and sending it to somebody through snail mail. Michael says the response has been great and he has gotten several text messages and phone calls from people thanking him for thinking of them. Michael said that continuing to write one letter every day may not be feasible, but he is planning on keeping the habit by writing one letter per-week…so keep on the lookout in your mailbox.
Administrative Assistant, Angel Valby, chose to run one mile per day for her challenge. She said that she quickly realized that wasn’t going to be possible, but instead is running three to four times per week. She said the biggest effect of the 30-day-challenge was that it forced her to get a gym membership…and a new pair of shoes.
Michele Fried, Adoption STAR CEO and Founder, has been stretching every day for 30-days for her challenge. Michele is training for a marathon and said that stretching every day has helped her progress.
“It’s becoming a habit,” Michele said. “I’ll stretch anywhere now.”
Michele is also thinking about her next challenges, and would like to come up with a few annual goals.
How is your 30-day challenge going? Only a few days to go!
Tags: 30-day challenge, Adoption STAR, How to form a new habit, Matt Cutts, New adventures, Trying something new for 30 days
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The Genuine Intent of Adult Adoption
Recently while researching an adoption trivia question for our Facebook page, I was brought back to my high school days, sitting in Mrs. Karawicki’s Latin class. I found a Wikipedia page that discussed the beginning of modern-day adoption and how its roots can be traced back as far as the ancient Romans. In fact, many of the Roman emperors were adopted as adults to ensure the current emperor had a son to pass his throne to.
While many adoption stories today revolve around infant or child adoptions, adult adoption is still prevalent today. In June we wrote a short blog post on Jillian Titus, who at age 29, was adopted by Sandra and Ross Titus. Jillian met Ross and Sandra while working Nintendo, and according to a CNN article, the two instantly bonded over their love for their Boston Terriers.
Chuck Johnson, who is the President and CEO of the National Council For Adoption, said in the article that he believes the number of adult adoptions in the United States has risen in recent years. Because many states seal their adoption records there are no official statistics on adult adoption, however Johnson said that he has heard of more adult adoptions in recent years than in the past. According to Johnson, the most common situation for adult adoptions is “former foster children – now adults – who are being adopted by their long-time foster parents.”
The article said that Jillian’s biological mother and father are still alive, however she now refers to them as her “ex-mom” and “ex-dad.” According to the article, Jillian had a rough upbringing with a mother who abused cocaine and a father “who once fired a gun at her while he was drunk.”
Ross and Sandra have no children of their own and according to the article a fast friendship developed soon after they met Jillian. “From day one, I was so drawn to Jillian. I noticed her laugh. I thought, ‘Look at that cute little monkey,’” Sandra said in the article. “Not having any kids, it didn’t occur to me that it might be maternal stuff I was feeling.” One day Jillian jokingly asked Sandra, “Why don’t you just adopt me?” which led them on their adoption journey, which was finalized in November 2010.
While each state has specific laws regarding adult adoption, the article said that most state regulations basically say, “Adults may be adopted with consent of the person to be adopted.” Most states do not require a specific age-gap between the adoptive parents and the adoptee, and it is rare when birth parents are required to consent to the adoption.
Unfortunately not everyone respects the genuine intent of adult adoption. Such is the case with millionaire John Goodman, who owns several Polo Clubs. In October of 2011, Goodman adopted his girlfriend, 42-year-old Heather Laruso Hutchins, in a move that some are describing as a way to hide some of his assets. Goodman has two biological children, and according to the article, has set up a trust fund of over $200 million for his children. Hutchins is now legally entitled to one third of this trust fund because she is over 35-years-old.
According to an article on NewJerseyNewsRoom.com, “Goodman was allegedly involved in a drunk driving accident that killed-23-year-old Scott Wilson.” According to the police reports, Goodman went through a stop sign crashing into Wilson. Goodman will face a criminal trial and Wilson’s parents are also suing Goodman for wrongful death.
Adoption professionals believe that Goodman’s adoption of his girlfriend violates the intention of the adult adoption statute. The attorney interviewed in the article states, “Unless you intend to create the parent-child relationship, you are violating the law.”
Much like infant or child adoption, adult adoption should not be something that is done without a lot of education and support. It’s intent is to create the parent-child relationship even in adulthood. It can be a beautiful option for many adults who do not or did not have a forever family.
Tags: Adoption STAR, Adult adoption, Adult Adoption Scandal, John Goodman adopting girlfriend, Positives of adult adoption
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Why I’m Making an Adoption Plan: A Letter From an Expecting Mother
This letter was written by Liz, an expecting mother. Liz shared this letter with prospective adoptive families that she has met and has graciously allowed us to share this letter with everyone else.
I want you to let him be who he wants to be, like what he likes (pink, babies, football, etc.) love who he loves (regardless of gender, race, etc.) encourage him to pursue his interests whether they fit yours or not, let him openly express his emotions (don’t tell him big boys don’t cry, only babies cry) let him know it’s OK to feel however you feel but teach him there are acceptable ways of showing your feelings and non acceptable ways (physical, verbal abuse towards others and other things.)
Teach him that EVERYONE on the face of this earth is equal, that what they look like, talk like, things they like to do, who they love does not matter….everyone is God’s creation and we are all beautiful in our own way.
I want him to know, believe in, and trust God…I don’t care if he goes to church but I want God to be a part of his life.
I want you to be aware and really know how I feel about adoption and my baby.
I am giving you and trusting you with a piece of me, my heart and my soul. He will forever be my baby, as well as yours. I love him more than life itself and would do anything in the world for him and his future, which is why I have decided that this is the best for him. I trust you to love him, take care of him, hold him, kiss him, play with him, and teach him everything he needs to know to be the best possible person he can be. I want you to NEVER let him feel or think that he was unwanted or unloved by me (I will also do the same). I want him to be free to love who he loves (no matter who that is) and to enjoy the things that make him happy (whether it’s the color pink or blue, playing football or dance). I want you to kiss every booboo, chase away every monster, tell him he is the most amazing little boy in the whole world, pick him up and brush him off when life knocks him down, openly and honestly talk to him about everything (age appropriately). I want you to listen to your heart and not other people when it comes to the tough decisions that you will have to make for him. I want school to be a priority and a love for him. I want you to read to him every night and greet him every morning with nothing but smiles and kisses. I want him to hear “I love you” every day and feel your hugs and kisses against his body always. I want you to put his life and needs before your own. I want you to be firm and consistent with your rules and consequences. I want you to take tons of pictures of him, put his creations on your fridge and in frames on your walls, and take him on family trips/outings/vacations to enjoy the many things life has to offer. I want him to know my sons as his brothers. I want him to know my family and have a relationship with them too. I want you to be OK with mistakes you make with him, learn from them, and never beat yourself up about them.
Right now he is a part of me like my heart, liver kidney and all my other body parts. That will never change no matter how old he is or who his parents are. I created him, I grew him, I feel him move within me. He is a part of me and I love him so much. At the beginning of my pregnancy they told me it was an ectopic pregnancy because they couldn’t see him in my uterus and wanted to abort him. I fought against the doctors, nurses, and friends and family who were all telling me to let the doctors end the pregnancy for the sake of my own life that was in jeopardy if it was ectopic. I fought for him and I won. They eventually found him. His biological father wanted me to get an abortion more than anything and I refused and because of that I lost him as a support with my pregnancy and in my life. I feel that my decision to give him to you to take care of is another way I am saving him. I can’t give him the future he deserves. If all it took to raise a child was love I could do it without any problems, but it takes so much more to not only raise a child but to give that child a decent future. I don’t want him to just grow up, I want him to have opportunities, I want him to be able to play sports, go to camps, go on vacations, and get a tutor if needed. I don’t want him in daycare all day long every day, never seeing his parent because I am working 3 jobs just to be able to make ends meet. I want him to have two parents who are able to spend time with him, who aren’t working 80 hours a week, who are college educated and have careers. I want the best for him and that is why I have chosen adoption.
Tags: "Making an Adoption Plan", Adoption STAR, Fighting for your children, Letter from an expecting mother, Placing your child for adoption, Relationship between birth parents and adoptive parents
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